Blog Posts

Introduction to Neurodiversity
What is Neurodiversity?
Written by: May Sosa RPN, BSPN, BA, Children's Book Author
Neurodiversity is the idea that human brains can naturally vary in many forms. For example brains can vary in how they think, learn, and experience the world. Autism, ADHD, dyslexia, ect. are some of the conditions associated with this term. There is a vast diversity in these variations and they should not be seen as defects but rather they should be observed as different ways to be and do things.
Why neurodiversity matters:
It encompasses different cognitive styles and offer unique strengths to individuals (e.g., creativity, deep focus, problem-solving).
A society with more neurodiversity is more innovative and adaptable—just like a biodiverse ecosystem.
Excluding neurodivergent individuals from the normal functions of a society weakens social structures, as diversity, different types of creativities and more are lost, much like the loss of species in nature can have catastrophic consequences.
Parenting Neurodivergent Children: A Guide to Support, Understanding and Empowerment.
Parenting Neurodivergent Children: A Guide to Support, Understanding and Empowerment.
Written by: May Sosa RPN, BSPN, BA, Children's Book Author
Parenting is a journey filled with love, challenges, and growth. When parenting a neurodivergent child whether they are autistic, have ADHD, dyslexia, or other neurodiverse traits the journey can be uniquely rewarding but also complex. Understanding how to nurture their strengths while supporting their challenges can make all the difference in their confidence and well-being.
At Stories Without Labels, we believe that every child deserves to feel accepted, celebrated, and empowered. This guide offers practical insights, strategies, and encouragement for parents raising neurodivergent children.
1. Understanding Neurodiversity: A Strengths-Based Approach
Neurodiversity recognizes that there is no “one right way” for a brain to work. Instead of seeing conditions like autism, ADHD, or dyslexia as deficits, they can be understood as different ways of thinking, learning, and experiencing the world.
Reframe the Narrative: Instead of focusing on limitations, recognize your child’s strengths. Many neurodivergent children excel in creativity, problem-solving, deep focus, and unique perspectives.
Learn About Their Neurotype: Every neurodivergent child is unique. Some may have sensory sensitivities, while others may struggle with executive functioning or social interactions. Educating yourself about their specific neurotype helps you provide meaningful support.
2. Creating a Supportive Home Environment
A home environment that respects your child's needs can be a powerful tool for their growth and comfort.
Establish Predictability: Neurodivergent children often thrive with routines. Visual schedules, timers, and clear expectations can help reduce anxiety and provide structure.
Accommodate Sensory Needs: Sensory processing differences can make every day experiences overwhelming. Offer noise-canceling headphones, fidget tools, weighted blankets, or dim lighting if needed. Observe what helps your child feel calm and regulated.
Open and Respectful Communication: Some children may struggle with verbal communication. Encouraging alternative methods, such as visuals, gestures, or AAC (Augmentative and Alternative Communication) devices, can help them express their needs.
Create a Safe Space: A designated quiet area with comforting items can serve as a retreat when your child feels overwhelmed. Having a safe place to self-regulate is essential.
3. Advocating in Education and Community Settings
Education and community environments should support neurodivergent children, but advocacy is often needed to ensure inclusion and accessibility.
Know Your Child’s Rights: In many regions, neurodivergent children are entitled to accommodations through IEPs (Individualized Education Plans). Familiarize yourself with this support to ensure your child gets the help they need in school.
Build Positive Partnerships with Educators: Collaborate with teachers and school staff to create a plan that meets your child’s needs. Share insights about what works best for them and advocate for adjustments like sensory breaks, extra processing time, or modified assignments.
Encourage Inclusive Communities: Whether in extracurricular activities, playgroups, or community events, seek out inclusive spaces where your child feels accepted. If necessary, educate others about neurodiversity to foster a more understanding and welcoming environment.
4. Emotional Support and Self-Regulation Strategies
Helping neurodivergent children understand and manage their emotions is crucial for their overall well-being.
Validate Their Feelings: Instead of dismissing meltdowns or emotional reactions, acknowledge your child's feelings. Statements like, “I see you’re feeling overwhelmed. How can I help?” show empathy and support.
Teach Self-Regulation Skills: Breathing exercises, movement breaks, and grounding techniques can help children regulate emotions. Experiment with different strategies to see what resonates with your child.
Model Self-Compassion: Children learn by example. Show them that it’s okay to take breaks, ask for help, and be kind to themselves when struggling.
5. Parent Self-Care: You Matter Too
Caring for a neurodivergent child can be demanding, making self-care essential for your well-being and ability to support them effectively.
Set Realistic Expectations: Parenting isn't about perfection. Celebrate small victories and give yourself grace on tough days.
Seek Support: Connect with other parents, join support groups, or find a therapist who understands neurodivergent parenting challenges. You are not alone.
Make Time for Yourself: Whether it’s reading, meditating, exercising, or simply enjoying a quiet moment, prioritize activities that replenish your energy.
Final Thoughts: Embrace the Journey
Parenting a neurodivergent child is an opportunity to see the world through a different lens one filled with deep curiosity, creativity, and authenticity. By fostering an environment of understanding, acceptance, and support, you empower your child to grow into their full potential.
Neurodivergent children don’t need to be “fixed” or molded to fit societal norms. They need acceptance, advocacy, and love and that begins at home.
At Stories Without Labels, we celebrate neurodiversity through books, resources, and a supportive community. Join us in creating a world where every child is seen, heard, and valued just as they are.
Calming Together: The path to Emotional Regulation
Calming Together: The Path to Emotional Regulation.
Written by: May Sosa RPN, BSPN, BA, Children's Book Author
Have you ever felt like your emotions were just too big for your body? Maybe your heart raced, your face felt hot, and your thoughts were spinning too fast. Now imagine being a child especially a neurodivergent child feeling those same big emotions but without the words or tools to explain what’s going on inside.
That’s where emotional regulation comes in. And it’s not something we’re born knowing it’s something we learn, together.
What is Emotional Regulation?
Emotional regulation is the ability to notice our feelings, understand them, and respond in a way that helps us feel safe and balanced. It doesn’t mean ignoring feelings or “calming down” right away. It means learning “how to ride the wave” of big feelings like frustration, sadness, fear, or even excitement without feeling overwhelmed or out of control.
For neurodivergent children (and adults), this can be especially tricky. Their brains might process emotions, sounds, sights, or touch in more intense or unique ways. What feels like a small irritation to one person might feel unbearable to someone who is autistic, ADHD, or highly sensitive. That’s why it’s so important to build regulation skills through connection not correction.
Co-Regulation: Calming Together
Before anyone can self-regulate, they first need something called co-regulation. This means learning to manage feelings with the help of a calm, caring adult. Think of it like being the anchor during a storm when a child’s emotions feel like crashing waves, your steady presence helps them feel safe.
You don’t need perfect words. You don’t even need to solve the problem. You just need to show up with:
A calm voice
A listening ear
Gentle support
By doing this, you’re teaching their nervous system, “You’re not alone. I’m here with you.”
Why Emotional Regulation Matters for Neurodivergent Kids
When neurodivergent children learn ways to regulate their emotions, they build confidence and resilience. It helps them:
Communicate their needs more clearly
Handle sensory overload better
Feel safe at home and school
Form stronger relationships
But remember emotional regulation doesn’t mean never getting upset. It means having tools and support when big feelings show up.
Simple Tools That Help
Here are a few calming strategies that many neurodivergent children (and parents!) find helpful:
Deep Breathing Together
Try “smell the flower, blow the candle” breaths.
Weighted Stuffed Animals or Blankets
These can give a sense of grounding and comfort.
Quiet Zones or Sensory Corners
A cozy corner with soft lighting, fidgets, or noise-cancelling headphones can be a safe space to regroup.
Movement Breaks
Jumping, stretching, or dancing helps release built-up energy.
Visual Schedules or Emotion Cards
These help kids understand what’s happening next and label what they’re feeling.
For Parents and Caregivers: Be Gentle with Yourself
Supporting emotional regulation doesn’t mean you’ll never feel tired or frustrated; you’re human too. Some days will be harder than others and that’s okay. You don’t need to be perfect to be enough. Take time to care for yourself, find calm when you can, and remember: Every small moment of connection counts. You're helping your child build lifelong emotional skills one calm breath at a time.
Final Thoughts
Emotional regulation isn’t something you teach in one day. It’s something we practice over time, through love, trust, and shared experiences. It’s okay to go slow. What matters most is that you’re on this journey together.
Let’s keep creating a world where neurodivergent children feel seen, supported, and celebrated just as they are.
Understanding and Supporting Meltdowns in Neurodiverse Children
Understanding and Supporting Meltdowns in Neurodiverse Children
Written by: May Sosa RPN, BSPN, BA, Children's Book Author
Meltdowns can be tough really tough. Not just for the child going through it, but also
for the parent, teacher, or caregiver trying to support them. If you’re reading this article, chances are you’ve experienced one of those moments: your child is crying, yelling, maybe even hitting or hiding and nothing seems to help.
You're not alone. And more importantly “your child isn’t misbehaving.” They’re overwhelmed.
Let’s talk about what meltdowns really are, why they happen in neurodivergent children, and how we can support them through compassion instead of control.
What Is a Meltdown?
A meltdown is not the same as a tantrum. Meltdowns aren’t about getting attention or trying to manipulate a situation. They are a response to feeling/being overwhelmed. This happens when a child’s brain and body feel completely overloaded and unsafe.
For neurodiverse kids, this can/might happen more often because:
Their sensory system may process sounds, lights, textures, or smells more intensely.
They may struggle with communication, emotional expression, or changes in routine.
Their brains are wired differently and that’s not a bad thing. It just means they need different types of support.
What Can Trigger a Meltdown?
Meltdowns don’t usually come out of nowhere. They often follow a build-up of stress that’s too much for a child to handle.
Here are some common triggers:
Sensory overload (noisy rooms, bright lights, strong smells)
Unexpected changes (a cancelled activity, a substitute teacher)
Transitions (moving from one task or place to another)
Frustration or fatigue (not being understood, being tired or hungry)
Social stress (feeling excluded, misunderstood, or overwhelmed by group settings)
How can we Support a Child During a Meltdown
When a child is having a meltdown, the first and most important thing is this:
Stay calm, even when they can’t, even when you are also struggling to stay calm.
Here are some steps that help:
Create a Safe Space
Reduce noise, lights, or movement.
Move to a quiet place if possible.
Use a Calm Voice and Body Language
Don’t try to “talk them out of it.”
Use short, soothing phrases like:
“I’m here.”
“You’re safe.”
“Let’s breathe together.”
Avoid Punishment
Meltdowns are not bad behaviour—they are signs of distress. Punishment teaches fear, not regulation.
Offer a Comfort Tool (make sure is safe to do so)
A weighted blanket, fidget, calming scent, or favourite stuffed animal might help.
Stand Nearby
Even if your child asks to be alone, stay close so they know they’re not abandoned.
After the Storm: Recovery and Repair
Once the meltdown has passed, your child may feel tired, embarrassed, or ashamed.
This is a time for connection, not correction.
Try: Offering a hug or soft words: “That was really hard. I’m proud of you for getting through it.”
Reflecting later when they’re calm: “What do you think helped you feel better?”
Building a calm-down toolkit together with items or strategies that soothe them.
Over time, these moments become powerful lessons not because we stopped the meltdown, but because we showed up with love during it.
Final Thoughts
Meltdowns are not a failure.
They are a sign that your child’s nervous system needs help. And you with your patience, empathy, and willingness to teach and learn are the greatest tool they have.
Together, we can shift the story from shame to support, and from “what’s wrong with them?” to “what do they need right now? " You are not alone. You are doing enough. And your child is learning one moment, one
meltdown, one connection at a time.
Looking for Tools to Help?
Explore our children’s books on emotional expression, sensory processing, and self-regulation.
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Sensory Support for Real Life: From Breakfast to Bedtime
Sensory Support for Real Life: From Breakfast to Bedtime
Written by: May Sosa RPN, BSPN, BA, Children's Book Author
For many neurodivergent people, everyday activities can feel very different compared to neurotypical experiences. Something as simple as brushing teeth or eating breakfast might be calming for one person and overwhelming for another. That’s because the way our brains process sensory information like sounds, textures, smells, lights, and movement can vary widely.
In this article, we’ll walk through a typical day from morning to night and explore simple, sensory-friendly strategies that can make life feel a little easier and more comfortable. Whether you're a parent, teacher, or neurodivergent individual, we hope this brings helpful ideas and support.
Morning Sensory Support: Waking Up
and Getting Ready
The Challenge: Mornings can be tough bright lights, loud alarms, scratchy clothes, and rushing around can lead to sensory
overload before the day even begins.
Supportive Ideas:
- Use a gentle alarm clock with nature sounds or soft lights that simulate the sunrise.
- Lay out clothing the night before and choose soft, tag free fabrics.
- Offer choices: Let your child choose between two outfits or breakfast options to support autonomy.
- Brush teeth with a silicone brush or flavoured toothpaste if textures or tastes are challenging.
- Add calming music during routines to reduce stress.
During the Day: School, Work, and Play
The Challenge: Noises, crowded spaces,
transitions, and different expectations can be overwhelming at school or work.
Supportive Ideas:
- Noise-cancelling headphones or ear defenders can help block out distracting sounds.
- Fidget tools like stress balls or textured keychains offer a quiet way to self-regulate.
- Movement breaks or stretching help with focus and can release built-up energy.
- Visual schedules or timers make transitions between activities smoother.
- For younger kids, sensory bins and play-dough can support regulation through play.
After-School and Evening Time: Winding Down
The Challenge: After a long day of managing sensory input, many neurodivergent people experience something called "sensory fatigue." This can lead to meltdowns or shutdowns.
Supportive Ideas:
- Create a calm down corner with pillows, weighted blankets, dim lights, and sensory toys.
- Offer a low stimulation environment before dinner this might mean turning off the TV, using soft lighting, or limiting loud conversations.
- Use body based calming tools like a swing, a hammock, or deep pressure hugs if your child enjoys them.
Dinner and Hygiene: End of Day Tasks
The Challenge: Strong smells from food, messy textures, or toothbrushing routines can be overwhelming when someone is already tired.
Supportive Ideas:
- Serve familiar and preferred foods alongside new ones, and respect food sensitivities.
- Let children use utensils or finger foods depending on their comfort with textures.
- Use a visual checklist or routine chart for hygiene (bath, brush, pyjamas) to reduce stress.
- Try scent-free soaps or bath crayons to make hygiene fun and more tolerable.
Bedtime: Calming the Senses
The Challenge: Falling asleep can be hard if the brain and body are still processing the day.
Supportive Ideas:
- Keep a consistent bedtime routine with calming activities like reading, listening to music, or gentle breathing exercises.
- Use weighted blankets, soft nightlights, or white noise machines if they’re comforting.
- Offer visual choices for bedtime stories or songs to give a sense of control and security.
Final Thoughts
Sensory needs are real and they’re different for everyone. There’s no one size fits all solution, but small, supportive steps throughout the day can make a huge difference. The goal isn’t to eliminate all challenges, but to create a world where neurodivergent people feel safe, respected, and empowered to thrive.
At Stories Without Labels, we believe in creating tools and stories that reflect real life experiences for neurodivergent children and their families. Explore our activity sheets, children’s books, and podcast.
Self-Advocates: Giving Children Their Voice
Self-Advocates: Giving Children Their Voice
Written by: May Sosa RPN, BSPN, BA, Children's Book Author
Why Advocacy Starts Early
Every child deserves to feel seen, heard, and understood. For neurodivergent children, this can be especially vital. Whether they communicate verbally, non verbally, or through creative expression, helping kids learn to advocate for their needs lays the foundation for confidence, emotional safety, and long-term resilience. In this post, we explore what self-advocacy looks like, why it matters, and how families, educators, and communities can uplift every child’s voice.
What Is Self-Advocacy for Kids?
Self-advocacy means knowing what you need and being able to ask for it in a way that works for you. For children, especially those who are neurodivergent, this could be as simple as saying:
- "This is too loud for me."
- "I need help understanding."
- Pointing to a picture that represents "break time."
Advocacy doesn’t always involve words it can involve gestures, signs, visual supports, or trusted adult allies. What matters is the right to express needs and be taken seriously.
Why It Matters for Neurodivergent Children
Children who can advocate for themselves are less likely to internalize shame or anxiety around their differences. Instead of masking or suppressing their needs, they grow to see their identity as valid. Advocacy builds emotional literacy, self-worth, and independence.
For many neurodivergent kids, especially those with autism, ADHD, or learning differences, navigating daily routines can be overwhelming. By learning to say "I need a break" or "That hurts my ears," children learn to protect their nervous systems and preserve their energy.
Ways Adults Can Support Child Self-Advocates
- Model Advocacy Yourself
When adults speak up for their own needs, kids learn that advocacy is normal and healthy. Let your child hear you say, "I’m feeling overwhelmed, so I’m taking a break." - Validate All Communication Styles
Not all advocacy is verbal. A child pointing to a symbol, flapping their hands, or withdrawing may be communicating discomfort. Acknowledge their messages. - Create Safe, Supportive Environments
Children can’t advocate unless they feel safe. Build trust by listening without judgment and offering multiple ways for kids to share how they feel. - Practice With Scripts and Role Play
Help children rehearse common advocacy situations like asking for help, declining a hug, or choosing a quiet corner. Use books, visuals, and social stories. - Celebrate Advocacy Moments
When your child asks for what they need, no matter how small, celebrate it! Reinforce the message: "Your voice matters."
Tools to Empower Young Advocates
- Emotion cards and communication boards
- Sensory friendly spaces at home and school
- Social stories that teach self-advocacy moments
- Wearable lanyards or cards with phrases like "I need a break"
- Children’s books that model characters advocating for their needs (like those found at Stories Without Labels)
Final Thoughts: Your Child Deserves to Be Heard
Advocacy is not about demanding more it’s about honouring a child’s inner world. By raising self-advocates, we raise children who feel empowered to exist as they are, ask for what they need, and feel proud of their voice. Let’s work together to create a world where every child’s needs are respected, their strengths are valued, and their voice is never silenced.
Find free tools, storybooks, and advocacy worksheets on the website
Autism is not a puzzle. It is a perspective
Autism Is Not a Puzzle. It is a Perspective
Written by: May Sosa RPN, BSPN, BA, Children's Book Author
When people hear the word autism, many still think of confusion, struggle, or something that needs to be fixed. You might even picture that old symbol a puzzle piece. But here’s the truth:
Autism is not a puzzle. It’s a perspective.
Autistic people aren’t broken or missing pieces. They experience and understand the world in ways that are often different but just as valid, rich, and meaningful.
What Does “Perspective” Mean?
Perspective is how someone sees, feels, and interacts with the world around them. For many autistic people, that perspective includes:
- noticing details others miss,
- needing more time to process things,
- responding strongly to sound, light, touch, or movement,
- enjoying deep focus on topics they love,
- and sometimes communicating in unique or nonverbal ways.
- This isn’t a problem to solve, it’s a way of being.
Why the Puzzle Symbol Doesn’t Fit Anymore
The puzzle piece was once used to show that autism was perhaps “mysterious” or “incomplete.” But today, many in the autism community are speaking out:
“We’re not puzzles. We’re people.”
That symbol can feel hurtful because it suggests that something is wrong or missing.
Instead, we can use symbols and words that celebrate difference like the infinity loop for neurodiversity, which shows that there are endless ways for brains to be wired.
What Daily Life Really Can Look Like
Let’s break this down in real life:
- An autistic child might avoid eye contact not because they’re rude, but because it’s overwhelming.
- An adult might wear noise canceling headphones to feel safe in public spaces.
- A student might flap their hands or rock back and forth when excited that’s called stimming, and it helps regulate emotions.
- A teen might have a meltdown, not because they’re being “difficult,” but because their nervous system is overloaded.
These are not flaws. These are human experiences.
How Can We Support Autistic People?
Whether you're a parent, teacher, friend, or employer, here’s what helps:
- Listen and learn. Ask autistic people what works for them and believe them.
- Create space for comfort. Allow for quiet breaks, flexible routines, and sensory tools.
- Use respectful language. Many prefer being called autistic rather than “a person with
autism.” When in doubt, just ask. Or better yet use their names. - Focus on strengths. Celebrate passions, talents, and perspectives even if they’re different from yours.
A New Way to See Autism
Autism isn’t something that needs solving.
It’s a natural variation in how brains work.
By shifting from "What’s wrong?" to "What’s
different?", we open the door to understanding, empathy, and real inclusion.
Because when we stop trying to “fix” autistic people and start listening to them, we discover a world that’s more diverse, more compassionate and honestly, a lot more interesting.
Let’s keep this conversation going.
Have a story or insight you’d like to share? Connect with me at StoriesWithoutLabels.com.
Together, we can move beyond labels and celebrate every perspective.
Understanding ADHD Across The Spectrum
Understanding ADHD Across the Spectrum
Written by: May Sosa RPN, BSPN, BA, Children's Book Author
When most people hear “ADHD,” they picture a fidgety child who can’t sit still usually a young boy bouncing off the classroom walls. But ADHD is so much more than that. It’s a complex and widely misunderstood neurodevelopmental difference that affects people in many ways and across gender, age, and cultural backgrounds.
Let’s take a deeper look at ADHD across the spectrum and why understanding the full picture matters for kids, families, and communities.
What is ADHD?
ADHD stands for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, though many experts agree that the name doesn’t capture its true nature. ADHD isn’t about a lack of attention it’s about how the brain regulates attention,
emotion, and impulse control. Some folks have trouble focusing on anything, while others hyperfocus on topics they love. It’s not a one size fits all diagnosis.
ADHD can include:
- Difficulty starting or finishing tasks
- Trouble organizing thoughts or belongings
- Forgetfulness and distractibility
- Emotional intensity or mood swings
- Restlessness or impulsivity
It’s important to remember that ADHD isn’t a behaviour problem it’s a brain difference. And when we support it with compassion and understanding, kids (and adults) with ADHD can and do thrive.
ADHD Doesn’t Look the Same in Everyone
Here’s where things get interesting: ADHD symptoms vary widely from person to person. They can also look very different depending on a child’s gender, age, and environment.
ADHD in Girls and Gender-Diverse Youth
Girls and non-binary children are often underdiagnosed. Why? Because their symptoms are more likely to be inattentive rather than hyperactive. These children may:
- Seem quiet or daydreamy
- Work hard to “mask” their struggles
- Get labeled as “spacey” or “emotional”
As a result, they often go unnoticed until later in life sometimes not until high school or adulthood, when anxiety or burnout sets in.
ADHD in Boys
Boys are more likely to show external behaviours like:
- High energy and impulsivity
- Interrupting or blurting out answers
- Trouble sitting still or waiting their turn
Because these behaviours disrupt the classroom, boys are more likely to be referred for assessments earlier.
ADHD in Adults
ADHD doesn’t go away when you grow up it just changes form. Many adults realize they have ADHD after their child is diagnosed. They may recognize patterns of forgetfulness, emotional dysregulation, or chronic overwhelm in themselves. Understanding your own neurodivergence can bring healing and help you parent with greater empathy.
Cultural & Social Biases in Diagnosis
It’s essential to acknowledge that race and culture affect ADHD recognition too.
Black, Indigenous, and People of Colour children are:
- More likely to be punished for ADHD related behaviours
- Less likely to be referred for support or diagnosis
- Often misdiagnosed with conduct issues
This creates lasting harm and blocks access to accommodations and resources that could make a big difference. That’s why equity in diagnosis and care is so important.
What Can Parents and Educators Do?
Whether you're a parent, teacher, or caregiver, here are some helpful ways to support kids with ADHD:
✔ Observe without judgment. Look for patterns and triggers in behaviour.
✔ Ask open-ended questions. Try: “What’s hard for you right now?” or “What helps your brain feel calm?”
✔ Embrace strengths. ADHD kids are often creative, curious, and full of ideas, celebrate that!
✔ Offer structure. Use visuals, checklists, timers, and reminders to help with routines.
✔ Prioritize connection over correction. ADHD brains thrive in safe, validating environments.
Most of all listen to the child. They are telling us what they need. We just need to tune in.
Final Thoughts
ADHD is not a flaw it’s a different way of experiencing the world.
Some kids need to move while they think. Some speak before they process. Some feel everything all at once. And when we shift from discipline to understanding, the magic happens.
Let’s create spaces where all neurodivergent children regardless of gender, culture, or diagnosis feel seen, valued, and supported.
Because ADHD isn’t one story. It’s a spectrum of voices. And every voice deserves to be heard.
Looking for more?
Explore my children’s storybooks, downloadable sensory-friendly tools, and our new Co-Regulation Course for Parents at www.storieswithoutlabels.com. (coming soon) Follow us @storieswithoutlabels and FB @ May’s Children Story Books for weekly
inspiration and conversations that matter.
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Behind The Smile: Unmasking. Neurodivergent Exhaustion
Behind The Smile: Unmasking Neurodivergent Exhaustion
Written by: May Sosa RPN, BSPN, BA, Children's Book Author
If you’ve ever seen a neurodivergent child smile through what seems like a tough day, you might have thought they were just fine. Maybe they were playing with friends or sitting in class, looking happy and engaged. But behind that smile, there’s often a different story one of exhaustion, frustration, and
burnout that’s not so easy to see. This phenomenon is something many
neurodivergent children face daily, and it’s time we talk about it.
What is Neurodivergent Exhaustion?
Neurodivergent exhaustion isn’t your typical kind of tiredness. It’s a deep, soul-draining fatigue that comes from constantly being in "survival mode." Neurodivergent children, whether they’re on the autism spectrum,
have ADHD, or experience other neurodivergent traits, face sensory overload,
social demands, and emotional regulation challenges daily. These factors can wear them down, leading to a kind of exhaustion that often goes unnoticed because they are so good at masking.
Masking means that children hide or suppress their true feelings to fit into social expectations. They may force a smile when they're overwhelmed, act like they’re okay even when they're not, or push through a situation even when they’ve reached their limit.
The Hidden Struggles Behind the Smile
Imagine trying to function in a world that feels overwhelming at every turn lights are too bright, sounds are too loud, people’s expectations are too high. For neurodivergent children, this is their reality. Every moment can feel like they’re constantly playing catch-up, and it takes a toll on their mental and physical well-being. This exhaustion isn't just from running around or
being active; it's from the mental energy required to navigate a world that wasn’t built with them in mind.
Studies have shown that children with neurodivergent traits, like those with ADHD and autism, experience sensory overload at a much higher rate than neurotypical children. According to a 2020 study in Autism Research, sensory experiences that others might brush off, like loud noises or bustling crowds, can drain the neurodivergent brain. For these kids, every sensory experience can be taxing. That constant vigilance trying to adapt to everything happening around them leads to deep, ongoing fatigue.
The Price of Masking
Masking can be exhausting, too. It’s not just about trying to fit in or “behave” the way society expects. It’s about suppressing natural reactions, emotions, and needs. A neurodivergent child might smile and act calm during a chaotic classroom activity when inside, they're feeling overwhelmed and anxious. Masking takes so much energy, and when a child can’t sustain it anymore, it often leads to emotional meltdowns, shutdowns, or physical exhaustion.
In my experience, as a mother of a neurodivergent child, I’ve seen firsthand how masking affects children. My son has shown me that his ability to put on a “good face” and keep up with the demands of his day often leaves him drained at the end of it. He might seem cheerful, but by the time we get home, his energy is spent. And as parents, we sometimes miss the signs until it's too
late.
Signs Your Child Might Be Masking
Their Exhaustion
Smiling through the Stress: Your child may look fine on the outside, but inside, they're overwhelmed or anxious. They might be trying to please others or avoid conflict.
Irritability or Meltdowns: After a period of masking, kids may have emotional outbursts when they can no longer hold everything in.
Withdrawal: They may retreat into themselves or withdraw from social situations when the stress becomes too much, even if they appeared fine earlier.
Changes in Behaviour: What your child loves one day might seem impossible the next. The overstimulation from too much social or sensory input can lead to a lack of interest in activities that usually bring them joy.
Physical Complaints: Sometimes, neurodivergent children might say they’re feeling sick or have headaches because they don’t know how to express their emotional exhaustion.
What You Can Do to Support Your Child
As parents, caregivers, or teachers, there’s a lot we can do to help neurodivergent children navigate the world without constantly masking their true feelings.
Encourage Breaks: Give your child permission to take breaks when needed, whether it’s from schoolwork, socializing, or simply processing sensory input. If they need to step away from the classroom for a few minutes, don’t be afraid to allow that. Breaks are crucial for preventing burnout.
Create a Safe, Sensory-Friendly Space: A quiet, calming space at home or school where your child can go to reset when things get too overwhelming can make a huge difference. This space could include noise-cancelling headphones, soft lighting, or even a comfy chair where they can relax for a while.
Normalize Emotional Expression: Let your child know it’s okay to not be okay. Sometimes, simply acknowledging their struggles can help them feel seen and understood. Model how to express feelings and emotions openly. It's okay to say, "I'm overwhelmed" or "I need a moment."
Be Flexible with Social Expectations: Don't push your child to attend every social event or complete every task if they’re showing signs of exhaustion. Setting healthy boundaries is key to preventing burnout.
Watch for Masking Signs: Keep an eye out for signs of masking, like forced smiles or extreme fatigue after social situations. You might notice that your child becomes more irritable or withdrawn as they try to keep up appearances. Pay attention and offer space when you see these signs.
Supporting Yourself as a Parent
Supporting a neurodivergent child means supporting yourself too. The emotional toll of constantly being the advocate and the protector can be draining. Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers. Take care of yourself so you can better take care of your child. It's okay to ask for help when you need it, whether it’s from friends, family, or professionals.
Wrapping Up
It’s important for all of us parents, teachers, and caregivers to remember that behind the smile of a neurodivergent child, there may be a lot more going on than meets the eye. By being aware of the signs of burnout and
masking, we can better support these kids and help them navigate a world that’s
not always built for them.
If you’re interested in learning more about supporting neurodivergent children, I invite you to check out my resources, including my Co-Regulation for Neurodivergent Families (coming out soon) course, and stay tuned for
more blog posts and podcasts on this topic.
Remember, it’s okay for both you and your child to take a break. You’re not alone in this journey, and together, we can create a more understanding and supportive world for all kids.
Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this topic. Email us or comment on our social media platforms.
Social Stories That Support Everyday Scripts for Kids: A Guide to HelpingYour Child Thrive
Social Stories That Support Everyday Scripts for Kids: A Guide to Helping
Your Child Thrive
Written by: May Sosa RPN, BSPN, BA, Children's Book Author
As parents, caregivers, and educators, we all want to help neurodivergent children feel understood, supported, and empowered in their daily lives. One powerful tool to do just that is social stories simple, step-by-step narratives that help children navigate everyday situations. Whether it’s a new
experience or a routine that needs a little more structure, social stories can make a world of difference.
What Are Social Stories?
At its core, a social story is a short, personalized narrative that explains a specific situation or event. These stories break down complex situations into easy to understand language, helping children understand expectations and reduce anxiety. They can cover anything from going to the doctor, transitioning from one activity to another, or even learning how to greet someone.
The beauty of social stories is that they provide a clear structure, giving neurodivergent children especially those with autism, ADHD, or sensory sensitivities a visual and verbal roadmap to navigate the world around them.
Why Social Stories Work
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by an unexpected situation, you can probably relate to how a child feels when they encounter something new or unfamiliar. Children, especially those with neurodivergent traits, may struggle with transitions or dealing with changes to their routine. This can lead to stress, anxiety, or meltdowns.
Here’s where social stories come in. By providing a structured narrative of what to expect, social stories reduce the fear of the unknown. The child knows what’s coming, how to respond, and that can help them feel safe, confident, and empowered.
How Social Stories Support Everyday
Scripts for Kids
Everyday situations can feel overwhelming to a child who’s neurodivergent. Whether it’s a trip to the store, a visit to the dentist, or a simple routine like getting ready for bed, there are often many steps involved. That’s where social stories come in to provide a simple script of what’s going to happen.
For example, let’s say you want to help your child transition from playtime to dinnertime. A social story could be something like:
"When I finish playing, I will wash my hands. Then, I will sit at the table for dinner with my family. After dinner, I can play again or do something fun!"
This script breaks down the process clearly and reassuring. It gives the child the framework to know exactly what will happen, which is especially helpful for children who may struggle with transitions.
How to Create Your Own Social Stories
Creating social stories for your child doesn’t need to be complicated. In fact, it’s best to keep things simple and clear. Here’s a step-by-step guide to creating your own:
Step 1: Identify the Situation
Start by thinking about a situation that may be difficult or stressful for your child. It could be something simple, like getting ready for school, or something more complex, like going to the doctor’s office. The key is to identify what your child is struggling with so you can provide them with clarity.
Step 2: Use Clear and Simple Language
Keep the language clear and positive. Instead of saying, “Don’t scream at the doctor,” you can say, “At the doctor’s office, I will wait quietly and listen to the nurse.” The goal is to use positive and action-based language that helps the child know exactly what to expect.
Step 3: Break It Down into Steps
Think of the situation as a sequence of small steps. Write each step in a simple sentence. For example, for a grocery store trip, the steps could be:
- “We will grab a shopping cart together.”
- “We will walk down the aisles and look for our items.”
- “I can help put things in the cart.”
- “When we are done, we will go to the checkout and pay for the items.”
Breaking things down like this makes the process easier for your child to understand, and it reduces any anxiety about what might happen next.
Step 4: Add Visuals (Optional)
Some children respond well to visuals. If your child is a visual learner, you can add pictures or illustrations next to each step. This helps them better picture the scenario in their mind and strengthens their understanding. For example, you might include a photo of the grocery store or an image of the shopping cart.
Step 5: Keep It Positive
End the story on a positive note. Let your child know what comes after the event. For example, after a doctor’s visit, you might say, “After the appointment, we will go to the park to play!” This gives the child something to look forward to, making the event feel less daunting.
Real Life Example: Social Stories in Action
Let’s look at a real-life example of how a social story can support a child:
Situation: Going to a dentist appointment.
Social Story:
"Today, we are going to the dentist. First, we will sit in the waiting room. There will be chairs to sit on, and I will wait with Mommy. When the dentist calls my name, I will go with the nurse to a special room. The dentist will count my teeth and clean them. The dentist will wear a mask, but it’s okay because they are there to help me. After the dentist is done, I will get a sticker as a reward for being brave!"
This social story not only gives the child an overview of the steps involved but also reassures them about what to expect, including the mask wearing dentist and the reward at the end.
Tips for Using Social Stories Effectively
Be Consistent: Use the social story consistently before each event or routine. Repetition helps children learn what to expect and makes them feel more secure.
Be Patient: Sometimes it takes a few tries for a social story to fully sink in. Be patient with your child and continue to offer reassurance.
Incorporate It into Routines: The beauty of social stories is that they can be used for anything, school mornings, bedtime routines, outings, or family visits. The more you incorporate them, the more effective they will be.
Conclusion
Social stories are a simple yet incredibly effective tool to support neurodivergent children in navigating the world around them. By providing clear, step-by-step scripts of everyday situations, social stories help reduce anxiety, increase independence, and empower kids to succeed in a world that can sometimes feel overwhelming.
I encourage you to give social stories a try! Start small, keep it simple, and see how your child responds. And if you're looking for more tips and ideas on how to support your child's journey, be sure to check out my other resources right here on the Stories Without Labels blog.
Call to Action:
Have you used social stories with your child? I’d love to hear your experiences! Comment, share your stories through our social media, and don’t forget to subscribe to our newsletter for more tips, resources, and inspiration for neurodivergent families. You’re not alone in this journey, and we’re here to support you every step of the way.